Charcuterie of Written Words Vol. 17
Something a little different this month, but I hope you like it. No bullet points. Xx
I forget all of my very best ideas if I don't write them down. Very often I don’t write them down because my very best ideas come to me when I’m on a run or half asleep in my bed or laying on a dock watching shooting stars soar by overhead, over and over again, and these are not places where I have access to a pen and paper, and they are also not places where I am willing to whip out my phone and tip tap my big ideas onto the tiny screen. We all have our prejudices, and most of mine are technological. Here are some ideas that are not my very best, but that are still okay I think. These are the ones I remembered to write down, save & set aside, and thus remember now.
I’m running again, and I didn’t realize how much I was missing it. There’s nothing interesting or truly true that can be written about running. It’s a thing to do. You have to do it to understand it or care about it at all. Much like dreams.
I went all of August without purchasing a single thing I didn’t actually need. What did I actually need? Food, new mascara, LIRR tickets, flowers. What didn’t I need? A really wonderful striped sweater, new sunglasses, burgundy ballet flats, another journal, vintage martini glasses, everything else. It was a deeply refreshing experience to not consume. I want to consume less, less, less. When I consume less it feels good. I feel more grounded in my own voice and vision. It’s delicious. I love a little treat (of the sweet, paper, metaphorical varietal) as much as the next girl, but I’ve realized self-denial can be equally energizing. I have so much already.
I’m not a total masochist though, so I did make a short list of items that were pre-approved for purchase. A dress for my brother’s October wedding and a yet-to-be-identified piece of furniture for the empty corner in my bedroom. I was also allowed to buy a birthday present for my best friend and one for my sister.
All of this is just setup to say that there are mysterious forces at work in the universe. On August 3rd, I found the piece of furniture I had been dreaming of (without knowing that it was what I was dreaming of). Sitting on 10th Street and Waverley Place, absolutely free of charge.
Did you know that the Venus flytrap is native to North Carolina. And that the area around Wilmington is the only place on earth where the plants occur naturally in the wild? This was a hypnotizing read from John Jeremiah Sullivan for the Sewanee Review.
One day, when I have a delicious walk in closet, with warm wooden shelves and a crystal chandelier, this is the rug that I’ll put in it. Could also be really good on the wall with a partner.
I’m writing letters to my friend who moved to Boston, and it feels a bit silly, and her last note back to me closed with a question about something that happened a month and a half ago. But it also feels good and easy, and a month and a half ago isn’t very long ago at all.
This month, I enjoyed:
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My August of limited expenditure also meant no new books. I know, very brave. But after last month, it was the right thing for this family (me). However! The universe (who loves me) did not want me to go a full month without acquiring a single book, so she gave me two for free, left out in the lobby of my building. I like to think that they were Lee & Michael’s, and now they’re mine.
I’ve become obsessed with combatting the slopification of food. Everything is in a bowl? This started with Chipotle, I think. I need to do some research, and maybe I’ll write about it at length one day. But for now I have these thoughts:
When I don’t bring my lunch to work (which I usually do, I swear!), I’ll either get Los Tacos (not slop) or Digg (slop). The way that you know the difference between slop and not slop is that slop comes in a bowl. I’m not saying slop can’t be tasty and therefore good to eat, it can. But I challenge you, the next time you’re eating slop (whether it’s Digg or Chopt or Cava or whatever), to transfer your meal onto an actual plate. You will #1 be alarmed by the quantity of food that you’re putting away having been tricked, by the bowl into thinking it’s a single serving size, and #2 be reminded that you’re not a farm animal at the trough.
Forget what I said earlier about dreams. I had two dreams in rapid succession one Saturday morning this month. You know when you’re in and out of sleep on a lazy weekend morning and the light is coming in but you’re not ready, so you sleep again and you dream again and rinse repeat? These are the only types of dreams I ever remember.
The first one was of a glassy ocean, lapping up on the beach the way that a lake would, but it wasn’t a lake it was the ocean. And the sun was setting unassumingly, with a simple but striking red band at the horizon to announce its departure. My mom was there, and I was filled with a surety that tomorrow would be a good day for swimming and for everything else too. You know what they say about red skies at night.
The second dream was more of a nightmare, in that in it, I was vaping again. I hate to expose myself like this to my various family members who read this, but the juxtaposition between the sense of total serenity that I felt in that first sojourn into my own subconscious and the anxiety that my vaping-again stress dream produced was too powerful not to comment on.
Addiction makes you a slave and unequivocally disallows true peace. No matter what it is you’re addicted to. It was a relief to wake up to my mostly free life.
The next episode of my delightful podcast with my dear sister Kathryn comes out on Tuesday. We read Age of Innocence, and we’re going to talk about it. Don’t forget to save, subscribe, download, etc. & if you like it, consider sending it to your mom or lover and giving us 5 stars <3
love you, bye!
That dresser is so handsome!
The little dresser you found!! 😍 it’s a beaut