Good Tidings
A Christmas feast for you <3
It has been a busy week, only to get busier, and I wanted to write something for you about Christmas, but I haven’t. So this is me starting now, I guess.
I wanted to tell you about the things I love—by birthright, well and truly love—about this time of year. The things aside from the obvious things, though maybe these will all be obvious things. I love the smell of Christmas trees on city corners and looking up at windows partially or fully blocked by the ones that have been taken home. I love when the people on the second, third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors all have their trees in exactly the same place in their apartments and they probably don’t even know it.
I love the creches in front of the churches, all the baby Jesuses and God’s love, and the wreaths and candles in the windows of the convent in SoHo. And I love singing hymns and carols in a serious voice, like I have a good one (which I don’t) when I’m cooking dinner or taking a hot shower. After which, I love donning one of my (yes I have more than one) Christmas nightgowns, crawling into bed and brushing my wet hair like a small, warm and pampered aristocratic child.
Out of my nightgown, I love the parties, and the insanity of having something to do every night of the week for three weeks straight, and the plaid taffeta skirt I found vintage shopping last month. And black turtlenecks with gold earrings and for that matter my own damn haircut and the way it looks when I’m dressed up. And I love my friends and their friends and their boyfriends and even the men they’re texting. And I love my lover and the dinner we’re about to have at Raoul’s, and the fact that we might get a burger. I love Raoul’s (I know I said aside from the obvious things, but I couldn’t help myself).
The presents yes, I love them too, mostly the giving of them and the look of delight! But getting them too and my own delight. I like to buy myself something nice when I’m supposed to be thinking about other people. I like to wrap it up and put it under the tree to Eve, from Eve. But I talked about the presents already and besides, I know that even without them this would be the most wonderful time of the year. I believe that, truly.
I’ve positively glutted myself from Thanksgiving straight through now, and I had a salad for lunch today, but I’m not fooling anyone with that. I have no plans of slowing down. I even moved my annual physical to January because there was not a single night this month after which I would have willingly submitted to a blood test, and I had the foresight to know that. And I love that.
To celebrate the solstice (and Christmas and my birthday), I made a tri-tip roast with mac and cheese and string beans and an herby green salad that was way too big. Everything was too big honestly. My friends are too dainty and I always over-cook. I used a mac and cheese recipe that my grandmother gave me from my uncle’s long-closed SoHo restaurant, Canteen. It was the star of the show, so I’ve included the recipe for you below.1
I love it all!!! I love my family too, of course, and can’t wait to be with them. That is when it will really feel like Christmas. My mom will aid me in continued feasting and my dad will light a fire. I will drink red wine and read and fall asleep and sugar plums will dance in my head.
Before I started writing this and realized that I actually did have plenty to say (surprise, surprise), I took the liberty of gathering a few Christmas (or Christmas-y) readings that delighted me this month. I hope that they will delight you too.
A Child’s Christmas in Wales by Dylan Thomas
All the Christmases roll down toward the two-
tongued sea, like a cold and headlong moon bundling
down the sky that was our street; and they stop
at the rim of the ice-edged, fish-freezing waves,
and I plunge my hands in the snow and bring out
whatever I can find. In goes my hand
into that wool-white bell-tongued ball of holidays
resting at the rim of the carol-singing sea,
and out come Mrs. Prothero and the firemen.
“Dust of Snow” by Robert Frost
The way a crow
Shook down on me
The dust of snow
From a hemlock tree
Has given my heart
A change of mood
And saved some part
Of a day I had rued.
“The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle” by Arthur Conan Doyle
Only one of those whimsical little incidents which will happen when you have four million human beings all jostling each other within the space of a few square miles. Amid the action and reaction of so dense a swarm of humanity, every possible combination of events may be expected to take place, and many a little problem will be presented which may be striking and bizarre without being criminal.
“The Moon was but a Chin” of Gold by Emily Dickinson
The Moon was but a Chin of Gold
A Night or two ago—
And now she turns Her perfect Face
Upon the World below—
Her Forehead is of Amplest Blonde—
Her Cheek—a Beryl hewn—
Her Eye unto the Summer Dew
The likest I have known—
Her Lips of Amber never part—
But what must be the smile
Upon Her Friend she could confer
Were such Her Silver Will—
And what a privilege to be
But the remotest Star—
For Certainty She take Her Way
Beside Your Palace Door—
Her Bonnet is the Firmament—
The Universe—Her Shoe—
The Stars—the Trinkets at Her Belt—
Her Dimities—of Blue—
Where Love Is There God Is Also by Leo Tolstoy
“Well, now, I was reading about that very thing,—how He walked on the earth; I read, you know, how He came to the Pharisee, and the Pharisee did not treat Him hospitably. Well, and so, my brother, I was reading yesterday, about this very thing, and was thinking to myself how he did not receive Christ, the Batyushka, with honor. Suppose, for example, He should come to me, or anyone else, I said to myself, I should not even know how to receive Him. And he gave Him no reception at all. Well! while I was thus thinking, I fell asleep, brother, and I heard someone call me by name. I got up; the voice, just as if someone whispered, said, ‘Be on the watch; I shall come to-morrow.’ And this happened twice. Well! would you believe it, it got into my head? I scolded myself—and yet I am expecting Him, the Batyushka.”
“Christmas Card to Grace Hartigan” by Frank O’Hara
There’s no holly, but there is
the glass and granite towers
and the white stone lions
and the pale violet clouds. And
the great tree of balls in
Rockerfeller Plaza is public.
Christmas is green and general
like all great works of the
imagination, swelling from minute
private sentiments in the desert,
a wreath around our intimacy
like children’s voices in a park
For red there is our blood
which, like your smile, must be
protected from spilling into
generality by secret meanings,
the lipstick of life hidden
in a handbag against violations.
Christmas is the time of cold air
and loud parties and big expense,
but in our hearts flames flicker
answeringly, as on old-fashioned
trees. I would rather the house
burn down than our flames go out.
I will be taking next week off—try not to miss me too much—so I’ll be seeing you next year! Love you, bye <3
Canteen Mac & Cheese (serves 6)
7 T. unsalted butter plus additional for greasing gratin dishes
1/4 C. + 2 T all-purpose flour
1 qt. milk
2 tsp. dry mustard
1/8 tsp. cayanne
dash Tobasco
1 T. Worcestershire sauce
1 lb. cavatappi, cooked very al dente (or other macaroni-type pasta)
2 C. coarsely grated Wisconsin Asiago
2 C. coarsely grated cheddar
1 C. coarsely grated Reggiano + a handful for sprinkling
3/4 C. rough chopped parsley
1/3 C. minced chives
1 C. Japanese Breadcrumbs
Butter 6 gratin dishes (I used a large pyrex)
Melt 6 tablespoons butter over moderately low heat. Whisk in flour and cook 3 to 5 minutes over low heat to form a blonde roux. Add milk in a stream and bring to a boil while whisking. Add mustard, cayenne, Worcestershire, Tabasco and salt and pepper to taste. Simmer, whisking occasionally, until thickened, about 2 minutes.
In a bowl, toss together cavatappi, sauce, Asiago, cheddar, 1 cup Reggiano and herbs (I forgot to mix in the herbs so I sprinkled them on top at the end). Pack into gratin dishes. Mix breadcrumbs and remaining Reggiano and sprinkle over pasta. Dot lightly with remaining butter and bake until crumbs are browned and sauce is bubbling, ideally 25 to 30 minutes at 350°.
that book bauble is to die for !!!! I LOVE